Visiting France - French Manners Of A Gentleman

Throughout centuries, people in the land of Renoir and Voltaire has shown the world that French manners are well-embbeded in their homeland. It has been recorded since before the Renaissance, and it is the reason why the Musketeers of King Louis XIII were trustworthy and reliable men of integrity known to act on the highest moral standards, values, and principles expected of the French people.


When visiting France in the XXI century, it is wise for a man to learn that his grooming and how he dresses, his demeanor and deportment, and what comes out of his mouth are billboards that give French people ~and a French woman~ a first glance at what is inside the man expected to follow and to act on manners, etiquette, and qualities just like a Musketeer of King Louis XIII.


Dressing Up


» French folks greatly value taste and quality; and so, the way a gentleman dresses is vital. It is not about showing off with his clothing how fat his wallet is. It is about his taste. A jacket tailored to the body showing a shirt's cuffs with cuff-links or a poet shirt when going out with a woman to an appropriate place are good examples.

» It is important to be dressed for the occasion. Do not wear shorts, polo shirt, and sun glasses if you are invited to an evening private party. Likewise, avoid to over-dress the person or group you are meeting with.

» In Perfume Country, men's cologne is expected; but do not pour in half a bottle when a scent of it is enough. A clean shave, a well-trimmed hair, and clean and short finger-nails are mandatory. The same grooming applies to a beard or moustache, if there is one.


Meeting With A Group Or A Woman


» After a proper introduction, you refer to each person in the group with a title followed by a last name. French manners mandate that you do not change that treatment until you are indicated that you may do so. Should you not know the marital status of a woman, her title is always Mademoiselle.

 » Should you casually find the group elsewhere, French manners mandates for you to shake hands with each of them as you make eye-contact. When leaving, never use a general "Good bye everyone!" - Instead, you kindly approach each person ~preferably not interrupting and apologizing if you do~ and shake hands making eye-contact and expressing in words that you are pleased to see him or her again or that you look forward to see him or her again.

» French manners expect you to show kindness and respect by allowing her ~or others in a group~ to talk without interrupting. French etiquette mandate that the conversation should never be the prevailing monologue of one person. Otherwise, you are telling her ~or others in the group~ "Shut up. It is all about me."

» In a conversation, a gentleman has amenable topics and he speaks intelligently. It is advisable to not talk about politics, religion, or personal economy; and to refrain from statements on French matters unless you are knowledgeable.

» French folks find loudness distasteful, rude, and a way to show disrespect disturbing or incommoding others nearby. Since these folks are passionate by nature, you may also be passionate when talking; but do so tastefully, when appropriate, for a brief moment, ...and do not be loud !


Meeting With A Woman You Have Been Introduced To Before


» It is acceptable for her to arrive up to ten to fifteen minutes late. However, a gentleman is expected to have a trustworthy word; and he unfaltering arrives as promised. Same punctuality applies meeting with a group.

» It is appropriate to shake hands as you use an expression similar to "Je suis heureux de vous rencontrer" [I am pleased to find you again]. You may hold her hand with both your hands ~or not~ but do not crash her bones, or shake her hands like a maniac.

» The French woman displays her taste in the way she dresses, the look of her skin, her hair style, and her jewelry or Bijouterie. French manners dictate that it is inappropriate for a gentleman to compliment her appearance. Do not get personal when visiting France !

» If you take her to a sidewalk café ~for instance~ you denote kindness and respect by pulling the chair at the table to facilitate her sitting down, holding the door open for her, or both. Likewise, when you unlock a car's door, you may hold it open for her to enter the vehicle. However, you must continue doing so every time. Otherwise, your message is that you are kind only at first.

» If you take her to a restaurant, remember that French folks use knives and forks with almost surgical precision. Do not use your fingers to eat a leg of chicken, to eat meat off pork chops, or anything that involves fingers with food. These folks are refined enough as to eat fruit with knives and forks.

» It is common and acceptable to have an intense eye-contact with a woman. You show that you have genuine interest. It is not intended for you to construe that she has an interest in you. On the other hand, to make eye-contact and to then look away or to get distracted ~or to disgracefully take a call on your cell-phone~ is how you offend her. Likely, she wants you out of her life.

» Avoid questions commonly accepted in other societies such as What do you do for a living?, or Do they pay well?, or Where do you live?, or Do you have your own car? Do not get personal when visiting France !

» After you met with a woman more than twice ~and you know that you are accepted~ you may hold her hand up and kiss it as long as you feel confident doing it naturally. You may do it when you meet with her, or before ending the evening.

» Give her a heart-warming moment swiftly walking away to a close by Flower Shop, and bring her a small flower.

» Assuming it is appropriate for her to contact you in the future, it is well-accepted if you present her with a tasteful card displaying your personal information. It is a card designed for matters of personal nature. It is not a business card !

» Should you arrange to meet with her again ~and you think it is appropriate~ you may send her flowers or a box of "bon bons" before or after your next encounter. Do not bring anything bulky that she has to carry with her.


Although not everyone in France is French, and not every citizen acts on French manners, this article ~not intended to be complete~ provides a man visiting France with basic but critically important French manners. Since most French people follow and act on high standards, values, and principles, they are reluctant to be involved with folks who show to not be on the same side of the fence with them.


Manners is to French people nothing new. It is a way of life they follow and act on since the days of the Renaissance and the Musketeers of King Louis XIII. Keep that in mind when visiting France.