5 Rules for Comfort on your Wedding Day

It’s getting to be that blissful, nuptial time of year – wedding season!   Are you planning your wedding? Or maybe you are in your best friend’s wedding? Or maybe you are attending 14 weddings this spring and summer and are looking forward to a cornucopia of lovely dresses that ‘you can shorten and wear again!” ?  Either way, we all love a good wedding. But as all brides know, it’s important to be prepared.  Weddings are all about planning.  Some plan for years, some throw caution to the wind and run down that aisle freestyle.  If you are going to have the wedding you’ve dreamed about, your number one rule should be comfort.   Think about it.  Comfort is in all aspects of your big day and when you don’t have it, lace is gonna fly.  Shoes that pinch?  A hairstyle that doesn’t allow you to turn your head?  Fear of anyone seeing you from the back because your Spanx aren’t performing?  That doesn’t sound comfortable at all!  Don’t make your husband-to-be think you’re wincing at his vows!  Your new in-laws might take that grimace as a sign you’re backing out.  And shivering in the night air is not a sophisticated bride-like look.   So here are a few comfort tips for all weddings. 

#1.  The dress.  Sigh. The Gown. You love it. You’ve dreamed of it. You feel like a princess on clouds on roses. But if you can’t walk in it, dance in it, launch a spontaneous elegant pirouette, well then, find another dress!  Leave yourself the opportunity to be and do everything you want to do on your day.  If your dress doesn’t allow you to bend over to kiss the flowergirl without shocking the congregation, get it tailored. Add some lace. Or grab a soft flowy gauzy sheer wrap or scarf, toss it demurely over your shoulders and delicately hide the décolletage.  You’ll be Ginger Rogers on the red carpet.

#2. The shoes.  I had 2 pairs. Some brides have 3, one being a perky little pair of soft ballet slippers.  Chances are you have a long dress so your toes won’t show most of the time. You can wear the delicious Jimmy Choos for the ceremony and then switch to the ballet slippers halfway through the Electric Slide at the reception.  Your feet will thank you. 

#3. The hair.  Oy how important.  If you have the dress, most likely you know the kind of hairstyle that suits you and the dress best.  However it’s in the communication from bride to hairstylist where this could get lost in translation. Your idea of an elegant up ‘do could be his vision of Zsa Zsa Gabor in a windtunnel.  So bring a picture to your stylist. And don’t be afraid of the ‘hair rehearsal.’  Work it out with your makeup to visualize the whole look before your big day.   Don’t forget the hairstyle transport issue.  Are you arriving en foote? Are you trotting up on a Lipizzaner stallion? Perhaps your carriage is a convertible?  Either way, prepare and protect your coif for the travels from bridal boudoir to the ceremony.  Grab a silk scarf, gently fold it over your head and tie a knot under your chin. Add some Ray-Bans and you can be Grace Kelly on the Riviera.

#4. The location.  Echoing cathedral with trumpets?  Dreamy hillside with barbecue and green grass?  Sand at sunset and an ocean breeze? Perhaps civil ceremony at the courthouse with witnesses from the line at the parking summons department? Any of these locations have the tendency to be drafty.  Plus weddings are fraught with surprises. Be prepared for anything. Load up that bridal bag with one scarf, one wrap (or shawl or pashmina), the little ballet slippers, some aspirin, band-aids, deodorant, clear nailpolish, white-out (you’ll thank me) and duct tape (you never know…). 

#5.  The ladies: Your bridesmaids.  Best friends, sisters, cousins, your fiance’s college roommate that you’d rather didn’t attend… ah.. so fun to choose the ladies for this special honor to stand as your ladies-in-waiting, the maids to the bride, the ones to fluff and straighten your gown.  They shall cherish this moment forever.  Not.  Ok maybe some will, but if you think that the turquoise halter dress with the fuscia bow looks so cute with your flowers and that ‘omg you guys are going to look so awesome!, that they will agree with you?? Probably not.  But, hey, it’s your day.  So choose the dresses you like and tell them where to find them.  Be specific with style numbers and color numbers and if they need to be tailored in any way, send a picture or a diagram of what you have in mind. Because otherwise, ‘cocktail length’ could look a whole lot different to someone in New York versus Idaho, and your beautifully orchestrated group photos will be marred for life.  Also, take into account #4.  My bridesmaids had strapless cocktail dresses. We were by the ocean in the late afternoon.  Sure I wanted a perfect 78 degrees in the shade and just a few clouds to color the horizon at sunset (a nice pink gradually blending to orange with a touch of periwinkle stripes and a pair of seagulls taking flight while the waves crashed on the beach in 30 second increments so it didn’t interfere with the music and … ) but that didn’t happen. So as part of my ‘thank you for being in my wedding’ gift to the bridesmaids, I gave them a shrug (that’s a long- sleeved soft little jacket ) to put on during the reception (they can freeze during the pictures.) Or you can give them a beautiful shawl or wrap or pashmina to toss over their shoulders. These come in so many colors that you will find one that won’t clash with that beautiful turquoise you love so much.  And these they may actually use again. These are also great gifts for the Mother the Bride, the Mother of the Groom, your wedding planner (that includes you!).    You’ll need a little something to wrap around your shoulders for the reception – seaside or not, if you’re comfortable, you’ll have the day you‘ve always dreamed of.  Just plan ahead!