Calling Off the Wedding - 5 Things to Do After You Have Made the Decision

As professional basketball player Richard Jefferson could probably tell you, it's not something that just happens in the movies. Jefferson was in the news but mostly for what took place off the court.

Jefferson and his fiance Kesha Ni Cole Nichols had been engaged for about two years and were scheduled to tie the knot on the Fourth of July.

That is until Jefferson decided the night before the wedding he was not ready. This led to a gaggle of publicity; the kind of which Nichols and Jefferson could do without.

Of course the same thing has been know to happen to non celebrities. Either the bride or groom gets overwhelmed by fear and decides the best thing they can do is get as far away from the thing causing that fear; namely the wedding.

If you find yourself in the same position as Richard Jefferson then there a few things you should know:

1. Timing.

If it is something that you are feeling strongly about then do some self examination as soon as possible. Talk to a counselor to see if it is just cold feet or you really do not want to get married. Whatever the reason, do it now. Don't spring the bad news on your fiance as the wedding gets closer or worse at the altar.

2. Adult Up

If you are going to back out either have the decency and courage to tell them face to face or give them the courtesy of a phone call . An email, text message, Facebook post or a twitter intentional or not says, " am terrified of facing up to what I did." Besides what if they do not check their email or social sites often? It's possible since they may be spending time doing frivolous things like preparing for the wedding.

3. Stay Visible

Disappearing is not an option. At least with the email or twitter, you have maintained some form of contact. Disappearing is going to have a lot of people worried about you at first because in this crazy world anything can happen. After they put two and two together that worry will disappear and then look out.

4. Baton Down the Hatches

Because more than likely there is a bad storm headed your way. It's also known as your fiance's anger. Sure you may catch a break. Your fiance may be the epitome of understanding. They might even be more concerned about you; offering unqualified support to get you thru this time.

But probably not. The odds are you are going to face a tidal wave of emotion ranging from anger to hurt. And do not think it will be just confined to your fiance. It can come from her family and friends as well as yours. So buck up. You've got it coming and there is no way you are going to get clear of it.

5. Don't Look Back

Okay you took all the hostility. It was rough but you made your decision. Don't try to reverse course because you feel sorry for your fiance or yourself and suddenly decide it's the right thing to do.

What's done is done and trying to call the wedding back on is not going to work. Even if your fiance agrees, the doubt is there from now on. If the two of you get married how long will it be before you call it quits and runoff? Maybe you won't but that is an uncertainty your fiance (and you for that matter) will always have hanging over your marriage. You can also be sure that people will be taking bets on when you cut and run.

What happened to Jefferson and Nicolas was unfortunate. It was made worse by the relentless media spotlight which in this day and age never shuts off. But celebrity or not if you are engaged and then one day wake and decide you just cannot go thru with it, that of course is your choice. After you make your decision hold your ground and be ready to accept whatever comes your way.