Calling Off the Wedding - Facing the Storm

At first you thought it was just nerves. Perfectly understandable. The courting, the engagement and the preparation stage are all leading to arguably the most important day of your life. Marriage is such a biggie that it's only natural you would have some doubts about it.

Except those doubts are not going away. In fact more doubts have been added to the ones you are already wrestling with. And they seem to be growing to a category five intensity.

It's not that you do not love your fiance because you do. You think. It is not even that you are worried about the future because you are not. You hope.

Yes there is something going on there and after talking it over with friends, family, co workers, your pastor, a marriage counselor and the cashiers at your local mall, you have come to an inescapable conclusion: There is no way you are going to go through with the wedding.

Houston we have a problem.

Several people that know you quite well suspected as much but nobody else had a clue about your intentions. That's about to change dramatically when you make the announcement that the wedding is off. And when you do look out.

Of course the first person you must tell is your soon to be ex fiance. Where and how you tell them is crucial but they take a backseat to when. As in you must tell them immediately before they invest anymore time and emotion in an event that's not going to happen. The longer you drag your feet, the less likely they will understand your change of heart.

And be advised you could tell them one minute from now and do it in the most tactful, gentle way possible and they still might not understand. This is another person's feelings you're messing with so there is no predicting how they will take the news. As long as things do not turn violent then be ready and willing to take whatever comes your way. Because as far as they are concerned you have got it coming.

Accept the fact also they it may not end with your fiance. There maybe more than a few people who have some choice words they would like to share with you and it will not necessarily just be from the fiance's family. Your family and friends may also want to weigh in about how you screwed things up royally for everyone concerned.

Calling off a wedding is not a clean process by any stretch of the imagination. You have gone too deep that it cannot help but be messy in trying to get out of it. Therefore you are bound to see some raw emotions on full display.

It comes with the territory. The best thing you can do is just accept that reality and prepare yourself to deal with it.