Tips from Marilyn: Giving a Wedding Speech or Toast

So you’ve been asked to give the toast at your best friend’s wedding. If you are like 75% of the general population, you are afraid to speak in front of crowd. And besides, what do you say? We have a handy guide on how to give a great wedding speech or toast—without the anxiety.  

What to Do

There are several things you can do to prepare for giving your wedding speech or toast. The key is to prepare beforehand so you can feel calm and in control of the situation.

Before the Speech

• Write out your speech. The best way to offer the perfect speech is to write it out verbatim first.
• Practice, practice, practice. You won’t want to read the speech from a piece of paper so you should have it mostly memorized. The only way to do this is by practicing—more than once.  
• Ask for feedback about your speech. It will give the opportunity to practice in front of a real person and will give you insight into how others will react.
• Relax. Nerves will keep you alert and add energy to your speech. Take some deep breaths before starting and give yourself a mental pep talk. If you have prepared properly, you have nothing to fear.

During the Speech

• Speak from your heart. Your wedding speech or toast should share a special memory or elaborate on your relationship with the bride, groom or the couple.
• Keep it short and sweet. Guests expect a short toast—not a long play-by-play of your personal history.
• Finish with “To the bride and groom” (or use their names.) This signals to the audience that they are lift their glasses and then drink.

What Not to Do

• Don’t think you can “wing it” and avoid preparing until the last minute. The lack of preparation will show.
• Don’t steal the spotlight. The speech is about the happy couple—not about you. It is the newlywed’s special day. Make sure the speech is about them and their new status as bride and groom.
• Don’t talk exclusive about only the bride. (Or only the groom.) They are a couple now and both need to be mentioned.
• Don’t make your speech embarrassing. Remember, both the bride and groom have family, friends and co-workers in the audience. Make sure your speech is PG-friendly and acceptable to share in front of Grandma Beatrice and the groom’s boss.
• Do not drink excessively before you give your speech. Your speech will lose its power if you are slurring you words.

It is a great honor to be asked to speak at a wedding. You—and the happy couple—will remember this moment for the rest of your lives. Keep in mind these tips and you’ll make the reception memorable.