Wedding Invitations: the Modern Versus Traditional Perspective

Weddings are one of the most ancient traditions of mankind. They are steeped in ritual and customs particular for each culture. But as the modern bride and groom struggle to find the best way to express their love for each other, they often end up meshing long-held traditions, such as the long white dress, with modern touches that make the wedding feel uniquely their own. One of the many decisions that the bride and groom will have to make is what will be on their wedding invitations.

While the particular color and style of wedding invitation is largely a matter of personal taste, many young couples spend even more time deciding what their wedding invitations will say. It may seem like a simple matter of announcing place and time, but there is one element of the traditional wedding invitation that is becoming more controversial in modern times.

Traditionally, the parents of the bride announce the event, stating something to the extent of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith are pleased to announce" or "Mr. and Mrs. Smith request your presence," followed by the details of the ceremony. This custom arises from the fact that the parents of the bride were traditionally responsible for paying for the event. In these modern times, however, it is becoming increasingly common for couples to foot at least part of the bill for their own wedding, especially if they are already established in their careers and have been able to save for the event. It is also not unheard of for the groom’s family to help pay for the ceremony, especially in this modern era when the older tradition may seem to put an unfair financial burden on the family of the bride.

So the questions becomes, what is the appropriate phrasing for the modern wedding invitation? Many couples choose to go with the more traditional wording, especially if the bride’s family is, in fact, paying. Other couples may also choose a traditional phrasing for their wedding invitations despite who is actually footing the bill, simply to honor tradition and the importance of the approval of the bride’s parents.

Other couples, especially those paying for their own weddings, choose to announce the weddings themselves in their invitations, which phrasing such as "Jane Smith and Mark Anderson request the honor of your presence" followed by the wedding details. This phrasing may be especially popular for couples marrying later in life.

For couples unsure of what is most appropriate for their own wedding invitations, an alternative phrasing may offer the best of both worlds, emphasizing the importance of both the couple themselves and both of their families in bringing this event together. This phrasing may be something such as, "Together with their families" or "Together with their parents Jane Smith and Mark Anderson request your presence…"

In today’s modern world, there is no truly "correct" way to write a wedding invitation. Each couple should choose phrasing that feels right for them.