Here's what to do if you can't lose weight

There are so many reasons that we all gain weight... And there are an equal number of reasons we can't lose. Getting to the core of it all though, you can definitely determine that there is a mental factor. Fat people generally are unhappy people! Do you have 'issues' that are keeping you from being slim and healthy?

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Let me tell you about my own life to help clarify. My earliest memory of 'fat' was at about 6 years old when my Dad told me to 'cut back on the shrimp or you'll get fat!' Shrimp was my favorite thing and I'm sure I was gorging, but that was my first realization of 'fat'. There was something in my messed up little mind that was then afraid to be fat. What do you guess happened? I got fat. Then it became an internal quest for love despite my being fat. My Dad constantly (for about 20 more years) told me 'how much prettier I'd be if I lost weight'. To me that equated to 'you're fat and ugly.' And something inside of me wanted to feel loved, pretty, and valuable even if I was fat.

But trying to seek approval, I tried every diet known to man at a very young age. My father was not abusive at all and was genuinely trying to help and encourage me. His intentions were good, but not right for me. The result was a 25 year old 230lb. woman who woke up and did some self analysis.

My self analysis opened my eyes to the way I'd been conditioned. I wasn't conditioned to feel beautiful, but instead to feel fat and almost pretty. At this point I realized that my weight was my own business and no one else's. Why should the opinions of others have any influence? You are supposed to take others' opinions and choose what you yourself believe, even if it is your father. Of course as a child, this concept was much too foreign for me. I knew I was supposed to believe everything Dad said. But as an adult I could come to the realization that what Daddy thought really didn't matter anymore. It became a personal quest for improvement.

I was living proof that 'diets' don't work because they were just making me bigger and bigger. For so many years, I had sought out the latest and greatest diet fads that promised drastic and quick weight loss!! Like so many others, I was desperate to be thin, to get to the place I always wanted... like the other girls! All of these diets operated by restricting something. Then, when you're successful and reward yourself with that 'thing' that you've been deprived of, you blow up instantly like a balloon to even bigger than you were to start with!

So the new life was slow starting. I knew I needed to change my whole lifestyle, that it would take small sacrifices for the rest of my life in order to be and feel like I wanted. Let me clarify that I am a very undisciplined person when it comes to this. I don't really like exercise and I do like cupcakes, so what's a girl to do? A little of both. I gradually started to limit or eliminate the things in my normal diet that were holding me back. Instead of a whole candy bar, if I had to have it, I'd eat 1/2 now and 1/2 later. Another small step I made was to always leave a few bites, never eating it all. I also started to commit to a little of some kind of exercise every day. No matter what it is, just do something. After a few years, I started getting into yoga. Although it can be very difficult, italso can be lazy exercise for people like me!

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The weight started to gradually come off. I only weighed a few times a year, usually because someone had noticed that I'd lost weight so I'd check. It was when my attitude shifted from pleasing others to pleasing myself that real long term weight loss happened for me. At one point a friend dreamed about being with me, except I was Sarah Jessica Parker?

I've started seeing myself as healthy and thin, just like her, and I'm getting there. Fourteen years older and 55lbs. lighter, I'm still not 'thin', but I'm so much healthier and happier, and if I never get into a bikini, who cares?

The message here is to go within yourself and figure out why YOU can't lose weight. Everybody's got their own reason lurking in there. You just have to identify it, and comprehend what it's done to your thinking in order to start changing your thinking. Stop being in a hurry because doing it right will take some time. Do what you're comfortable doing so that you will actually DO it. You have to start so just start anywhere! Commit to what you can, one thing at a time, and you'll get there!

And please, the next time you see a chubby kid, tell her how pretty she is! Put out some good vibes by making someone feel good about themselves. (By the way, Dad is very proud of me, but it doesn't really matter to me now.)

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