Healthy Living? My Funny Experience Buying a “Water Filter”

1. Hmmm…

The night for our free coupon and test came and there was a knock on the door.  This nice man came charging in carrying a large kit of some sort and charged right into the kitchen.  Right away, he told us he was definitely NOT a filter salesman – he was a water quality technician.  In no time he had everything set up all across my countertops.  There was a small “filter” of some sort attached to my faucet so that he could run water through either it or my regular tap.  The kit was open with lots of bottles – empty and full, and he had a large three ring binder open in front of us.

He methodically went through page by page of the binder explaining many of the problems with what comes out of my tap, always referring to it as, “Raw, untreated water” as if there is no municipal water facility in my town at all. Of course we already knew about these problems, and for the most part what he said was true.  But we didn’t interrupt; we wanted to hear his routine.  He told us how his “filter” had cured him of lifelong skin conditions and that was why he went to work for the company.  He said the filter would clean itself, so we’d never have to so much as replace the media inside – just add more blocks of salt.

 For the most part, we let him do his thing, but when he showed us all the symbols of all the institutions that certify their products I took notice.  Everything was there:  the ANSI, NSF, Water Quality Association, everything you could think of.  So I asked him, “To what standard does the NSF certify these filters?”  It was pretty hard not to laugh when he gave me the answer, “All of them!”

Well that was a little bold to say the least, so I had to press on saying, “Well… I know some of the standards are for different types of filters, so isn’t there some standard that applies to these filters?”

His reply, “Well all of them apply, but that doesn’t matter.  Nobody knows what all that stuff means anyway.”

Keeping a straight face at that point was a bit challenging, but I managed.  I don’t know if he caught the look my husband and I passed to each other.

As time passed, he put die in this bottle and potassium hydroxide in that one.  He washed a glass, and rinsed a washcloth in a bowl, always repeating the mantra:  “Raw untreated water” as he explained.  When the demo was over he asked if we had any questions, so I tried again.  “So exactly what contaminants does this filter remove?” 

“Everything,” he replied.

“Really?  What about fluoride?  I know fluoride is hard to remove.” I said.

“Yes, everything.”

Eventually our nice guest began to pack up his kit without attempting to sell us anything.  I waited.  He packed.  So I figured I’d take the bait.  After all, the sale was coming some time and he’d already been in my kitchen a couple of hours.  I didn’t want to make it three.  “So if somebody wanted one of these, what do they cost?”

Needless to say, the more I baulked, the lower the price – from a total of $8738.70 down to the original $6995.00 – no tax, free installation.  Then he went on to the payment plan where the price and interest rate didn’t really matter, just the monthly payment I could make from all the savings I’d see from reduced costs of soap.  In the process, I learn that if I really wanted clean water I’d also get the Under-the-sink filter to go with the big boy.  That small, shiny silver thing really looked pretty.  It must be worth the extra thousand smackers added onto the bill!

I wrote down the model numbers to look up later.  Sure enough, this “filter” that removes “everything” was a salt-brine water softener.  Nothing more.  If I were depending on that system to keep my family and me SAFE, all I can say is, it’s a good thing that what comes out of my faucet is not “Raw, untreated water!” 

 I didn’t get the coupon that night either, though about a week later I did get a letter in the mail with a web address where I could download one myself.