How to Motivate your Child

The summer has begun and you are probably concerned that your child will be lounging in front of the TV, playing game boy, or listening to their ipod all day. Was the school year a constant struggle to complete the work and keep the grades up? Many families struggle with these issues on a daily basis. In order to plan for your child during the summer and prepare them for the year ahead, you need to know their needs as well as their likes.

For children who have struggled through school with a learning issue or psychological problem, such as depression, anxiety, ADD or ADHD the summer is a perfect time to receive therapy, catch up and build up skills through tutoring, therapeutic and/or academic programs. Mind Spectrum Institute in North Miami Beach is one of those places that specialize in the treatment of children and adults for conditions such as depression, anxiety and ADD or ADHD.. For others, especially the teenagers, the summer is a perfect time to work, learn some responsibilities and earn spending money so they can go out with their peers. For those children with special talents, drives and skills, a specialty camp to reinforce these skills will be ideal. For all others, being involved in camp, sports, and playful activities should be encouraged. I believe that children who have too much free time are more likely to get in trouble than children who are busy. Children have a natural tendency to experiment and be mischievous. Does this mean they cannot have free time and just enjoy the summer? This means three months is too much free time for any child (and for most parents who need to work and cannot supervise and entertain their children). What if your child does not want to participate in any of these activities?

What do we know about motivation? First we must rule out that there is no depression or anxiety interfering with the child’s day to day behavior. If so seek help and treatment. We know several factors influence motivation, such as: Is the task elective or required? What kind of student is the child? What is the environment like? What are the parents’ attitudes? Everyone is motivated to do something. So where does the motivation come from? First, are the Extrinsic Factors, i.e., things outside of a person that determine their motivation (for example: good grades, praise, rewards and negative attention). On the other hand are the Intrinsic Factors, i.e. things inside a person that determine their motivation (for example, feelings of accomplishment, achievement and success). Another issue that affects a child’s motivation is their home environment, with causes such as: if there is underlying depression, anxiety, difficulty focusing,; if there are greater concerns—dad lost his job, impending divorce, death in the family, then full effort and motivation takes a back seat. Finally, there’s the impending needs, such as need to belong, be accepted, or physical needs like security and health. All of the latter can cause lack of motivation, poor self-esteem, and isolation and health issues.

If you find that your child is suffering from any of the above symptoms, specially you perceive an underlying depression or anxiety the first thing to do is to talk to your child and get their input. Plan ahead what your concerns are and the possible solutions. It is important to remain impartial and non-judgmental and to listen rather than lecture your child. To empower and motivate your child you want to determine their likes and dislikes as well as their energy levels. Finally, present a list of alternatives and allow them to choose. Having a purpose and working towards a goal is a great motivator. Remember, most people can be motivated to do something; we only need to figure out what they really like and what the rewards are. Therefore, the next time your child seems unmotivated, take the time to look, listen and plan a strategy. If all else fails seek therapy for your child. An untreated depression, anxiety, learning disability or emotional issue can have a negative impact on the child and their development. There are special centers for the treatment of depression, anxiety and children’s emotional issues.