Carolyn McFann is a scientific and nature illustrator, who owns Two Purring Cats Design Studio, which can be seen at: http://www.cafepress.com/twopurringcats . Educated at the Rochester Institute of Technology in New York, Carolyn is a seasoned, well-traveled artist, writer and photographer.
So many people dread becoming forty. Why? Is it really that bad? The answer is definitely "no." There are a multitude of reasons why being a little older is nothing to fear. Being a little older has its benefits. It's all a matter of keeping a positive attitude and making the best of your life.
Remember, it's only a number
If you talk to someone in their 80's, they will think you are still a child. You aren't "old", just a little older than you used to be. Look at it this way; you know yourself better than you did at twenty, and now avoid the situations you had once been in, out of knowledge of what does and does not work. For example, bad relationships - through trial and error we learn what is good for us and what is not when it comes to the opposite sex. You've been there and done that. Maybe all life's questions aren't answered by now, but you are a lot more savvy to the world than you used to be through life experience. Years do that, they teach. Now that some painful past lessons have been taught, they don't need to be re-learned unless you ignored them the first time around.
Don't feel that you'll never attract a mate because you are over 40
That is nonsense. If you want to date, then date. Men who want twenty-year olds are not men you want to be with anyways. I have a certain feeling of relief not to feel the need to stuff myself in push-up bras, live in high-heels and look like a Stepford wife. I am myself, and haven't let myself go, but am no longer chained to trying to please others with my looks. When I was younger, it seemed that looks mattered so much. Now, who cares..looking good is relative. Take care of yourself mentally and spiritually. Be yourself and attract someone good for you, not someone who expects you to dress or look a certain way. Been there, done that. I learned my lessons and am glad to be done with them.
Celebrate what you do have instead of what you don't have.
Do you have a loving family, a safe place to live or peace of mind?
If so, great, be proud of this. If not, then work to get these things. It's your choice how you react to the world around you so choose to think more positively about life and the good things in it. Be glad to have good health. So many people in the world are incapacitated or ill in some way, so be glad you are doing well. When I had back trouble, it humbled me and showed me how important it is to be good to my body. I stopped carrying ten bags of groceries at a time, and carrying too many heavy things. Another lesson learned. Value your health, it is the most precious asset you have.
Wrinkles? Eye Bags? Jowls?
First of all, you're your own worst critic. Chances are, any changes in your face are not that bad. If you are totally horrified about your appearance, you can always contact a plastic surgeon. Or, live with them and just look at them as proof that you are mature and not old yet, just a little older. Not a big deal unless you make it one. Just go with the flow. I had a chemical peel and laser treatment done a year ago, it was like going to a spa and not highly invasive. It took slight discolorations from the sun off my face, helping me be happier about my appearance. It has lasted a long time, and if I feel the need to do it again someday, I will. Don't worry, you won't look like someone who hit a wind tunnel, and all the skin is pushed back. Nope, that is for those addicted to plastic surgery who have gone too far with facelifts. The chemical peel and laser treatment didn't change my skin color and the afternoon session actually felt good. I recommend it highly.
Feeling overweight and want to fit back into those high school clothes?
Then prepare to work it off by daily exercise, cutting back on fat and watching what you eat in general. Throughout my life, my weight has gone up and down, depending on who I broke up with. Every time a relationship ended, I gained weight, then I'd get my second wind and work it off. Identify your eating triggers, and build discipline. Don't let food rule you, enjoy eating but in moderation. I like to cut my portions in half, if something is fattening, rather than deny myself an occaisional splurge. Then, you have two portions instead of one, and you get double the pleasure. It's a good thing.
Whatever the case may be, don't feel down about being forty. You will adjust and in a good way. It pays to be careful of your health, to ward off any future problems, and enjoy your life to the fullest while you are still young. Yes, you are still young. Talk to people who are much older and they will reassure that their lives were probably just beginning at forty. Think positive, and just go with the flow.
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