Women'S Self Defense 101

Women’s Self Defense 101

There has been a great deal written about the topic of self defense and how it pertains to women. There is also a great deal of debate and misconception around what constitutes “Self Defense”. True self defense is much more than just personal protection and learning a set of techniques to escape from a violent situation. Self Defense in its truest form means never being placed in danger in the first place.

Avoiding potential danger seems like an easy concept to master and on the surface it is. One merely avoids running lemming like off of cliffs and into the ocean and stops undressing with the shades drawn in order to stay out of harms way right? Wrong. Avoiding potential danger is not always as simple as A+B=C. Every woman is an individual with different patterns and risk and resiliency factors that will make her more, or less susceptible to risk, potential danger and as a potential target for crime.

First of all we need to understand risk. As I’ve stated in previous articles and blogs, everything in life has a risk attached to it. For instance there is the possibility that while walking to your car you will be run down by a stampeding heard of rhino’s that has escaped from a nearby zoo. The probability of this happening is likely very low, but it does exist. There is a much higher risk level of you becoming a victim of a sexual assault. Statistically we can say this because we know that one in three women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. Both of these potential risk factors must be taken into account when assessing your level of risk. You would however put a much greater effort into planning to avoid instances that lead to sexual assault than you would looking for rhino’s.

Risk factors are anything that predisposes you to an undesired outcome in any given set of circumstances or events. Clear as mud? Let’s look at it this way, risk is anything that can make you cry, hurt, bleed, die, disappear, broke, victimized etc. Resiliency factors are the individuals, circumstances and choices that make it less likely that you will experience any of the above or at least reduce your risk substantially.

Women need to take the time to educate themselves on the basic principles of personal security and self defense in order to mitigate risk in their lives whenever possible. They can do this by critically examining how they live their lives. It’s certainly not my intention or place to tell you that you must stop doing anything or change anything that you don’t want to change. Look at each area of your life; your home, work and leisure life. Take careful note of the potential risks in each area and activity in your life. Assign a number value based on the level of risk involved. Zero would be a “no risk” activity or situation; a ten would be “immediate and painful death by simultaneous incineration, spontaneous combustion and asphyxiation”. This collection of personal information is a Personal Security Audit.

Here’s a newsflash “People don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan”. Obviously you are probably going to avoid any activity or situation that rates an eight or above due to the threat of a painful and untimely demise. Area’s of lower risk can be assessed and place into a Personal Security Plan. Your personal security plan will be unlike anyone else’s. It will be tailored to your life and your individual risk and resiliency factors. The key to successfully putting together a personal security plan is K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Sister). If you don’t make your security plan something that is easy enough to put into practice ever single day of your life, then it is a waste of your effort and you may as well cast runes to determine personal risk because it will be about as effective as your plan.

Here’s the other thing you must practice your plan. Some skills and mindsets are frangible. This means that if you don’t use it, you will lose it. Just like First Aid, CPR, Self Defense and Fire Drills your personal security plan needs to be practiced. Why you ask? Well number one it imprints valuable mind-muscle links into our neural pathways. This means that the skills and mindsets we’ve practiced will be available for retrieval and use at a moments notice. A second value is retention. The longer we go without reviewing and practicing the more we forget.

Personal Protection is another area in which women need to take the time to educate themselves. Personal protection is a mindset not a martial art or a technique. It is a combination of “Mental Toughness”, “Situational Awareness” and “Combat” combined to provide complete protection for the woman and her family.

Mental toughness can be defined as; “as having a natural or developed psychological edge that enables you to;

•         Cope with the many stresses and demands that life places on you.

•         Be more consistent in remaining determined”.

Mental toughness is not about being the biggest or baddest hombre on the block. It is a “Never Quit” attitude that allows an individual to keep fighting even in the worst of circumstances.Mental toughness training is not an easy skill to acquire. It takes time, effort and practice just like self defense training. Most of us go through our lives believing that we are small, insignificant and incapable. Unfortunately many times this is reinforced in our personal and professional lives. What we need to realize is that we are Powerful, Capable, and Competent. Believing in your self and your ability to take protect yourself and your family is vital because without that belief you’ve already lost.How do we become mentally tough? We start by repetition. Just like your self defense concepts, your mental toughness will improve with repetition and practice.

Take 1000 sticky notes and place them all over your home/office/car. On these notes write statements such as;

1. I will never give up.
2. I can and will succeed at all costs.
3. I am Confident, Competent, and Powerful.

Mental toughness is based on Neuro-Linguistic Programming. The basic concept of NLP is that our brain is like a computer and when the proper message is inputted enough times it becomes incorporated into our subconscious mind and we begin to believe it and act accordingly.

1.     Developing Mental Toughness starts with having the right attitude and state of mind.

•         Confidence comes from knowing that you have prepared and that you believe that you will achieve your goals.

•         Courage is the ability to “lay it on the line” and live life with focus and determination.

1. Program your mind for success with positive thoughts and affirmations.

•         Expect the best from yourself and affirm what you are going to do to be successful.

•         Visualize yourself performing at peak function. (Confident, Strong, Fully Focused)

1. Develop a systemized routine that focuses on the desired mental and emotional state of mind.

•         Practice, you must practice the skills you’ve learned and execute them with full focus and attention.

•         Once you’ve committed yourself to a course of action, be persistent and never give up. 

1. Learn to let go of mistakes quickly if things do not go the way you want.

•         Key components to mental toughness training are compensating, adjusting, and trusting.

•         If plan A does not work go to plan B, or C.

•         Use focal points to help you stay focused to the task at hand.

•         Be persistent and don’t allow frustration and failures to get in the way.

1. Take control over negative self talk and the “I Can’t attitude”.

•         Look at situations that make you intimidated, frustrated or lose focus. Reframe these situations into positive “mentally tough” thoughts.

Situational Awareness can be defined as a heightened state of consciousness. It is the use of all of your senses and your instincts and intuition to view the world around you. People who have situational awareness are rarely caught off guard. They are constantly scanning the environment around them and receiving, processing, assessing and reacting to these environmental stimuli.

We’ve all heard the phrase “In the zone”. This is a state of being that is completely focused on what is immediately in front of us. Even worse we become turned inward and lose site of what is happening in the world around us. While this state may be desirable for concentration on the sports field or when we are concentrating on work it can be hazardous when we are considering our personal safety.

How many people have had this happen to them? You are walking/driving home from school/work. You’ve had a busy day and there are a lot of things on your mind. You arrive at home to realize that you have no recollection of how you got there. Is this type of mind set dangerous? Only when it is applied to times and places where you would be better served paying close attention to what is going on around you; times such as driving your car, and when you are alone on the street. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing bad about a state of intense concentration on what you are doing. It is all about the context. Situational awareness can often be the difference between avoiding danger and needing to confront it.

Part of Situational Awareness is learning to trust your instincts and gut feelings. Too many times we don’t listen to the little voice in our head that says there is something wrong. We like to call this the “Creep Meter”. Your Creep Meter is the warning bell inside of you that say’s “This is not right” “I need to leave”.

Our instincts and gut feelings are part of what has kept the species alive so long. Living in polite society we’ve been taught to ignore these feelings or that they are wrong.

Learn to listen to your Creep Meter every time. It may not always tell you exactly what is wrong, but it will always tell you that something “IS” wrong.

Every woman should take a self defense course. A properly designed and facilitated course will address all of these issues and provide the woman with professional training in combat techniques designed to teach women the dirty tricks they need to employ in order to incapacitate a larger, stronger attacker and escape the situation. Oops…did I say dirty tricks? Sorry to be harsh voice of reality, but the only fair fight is one that you win. There is no honor in assault, robbery and rape so you owe your assailant nothing. Biting, eye gouging, elbows and knees to the groin are all recommended and acceptable techniques. Did I also forget to mention that the fight’s not over until you say it’s over?

Part of what a well structured self defense course will teach a woman is how to avoid the “Freeze” reaction that occurs as a result of the “Adrenaline Response”.  The first time a person is exposed to danger they typically have the same reaction every person has in a "fight or flight" situation. This is known as the Adrenaline Response. This massive dump of the hormone adrenaline into our systems is what enables small women to pick up cars that have fallen on their husbands. Adrenaline also has some negative effects as well. It causes dry mouth, a rapid increase in heart rate, loss of fine motor coordination, shaking hands and sweating. It also causes a phenomenon known as “Tunneling”. This is a state of mind where we become so focused on the threat in front of us we lose Situational Awareness to the other potential dangers around us.

A well structured course places women in situations where they experience the Adrenaline Response in order to teach them how to overcome its debilitating effects. This can be accomplished through “Padded Attacker” training combined with “Saturation Training”. Saturation Training is really nothing more than systematically desensitizing yourself to the negative effects of the Adrenaline Response. It also imprints the techniques learned into the muscle memory, making them available instantly when needed. Through repetition the body learns how to adapt to this infusion of hormones. One of the best methods for helping to alleviate “Tunneling” and the “Freeze” response during an Adrenaline Response is to breathe. Deep, rhythmic breathing floods the cardiovascular system with oxygen. This helps the body to prepare to either fight or flee. It also clears the fog of “Tunneling”.

Kerry Sauve

StreetSense Safety and Security Inc

http://www.streetsensesafety.ca